24. The chances of a lifetime come at the most surprising of times.

This was one of those times.

Imagine being so ready to pull into your friend’s drive way that you are driving in an unsafe and terrifying way by accident, but it's not your fault because of your emotional state. That was me right now.

I yelled over the music, "Wow this is a super cool song. I love that it's got that sound clip from Tadow where they say "Tadow"." Other than that it was brain blasting dubstep that made me feel anxious.

Suddenly, Jilly unplugged the aux cord, and a huge buzzing hum filled the car, because I had turned up the volume all the way. Jilly started touching it rhythmically and said "I'm Tom Moreno from Rage against the machine!!" I did not get the reference, but the crazy sound from the aux cord woke Dave up.

"Where the heck am I?" Dave screamed over the music, and he was panicking and flailing all around in the shotgun seat. He looked like a baby, and it was kind of funny until one of his fat wrists flailed into my ear that got bit by Tiny's dog just days ago.

It hurt so much, and I might regret it for the rest of my life, but I just had to scream: "DAVE! YOU FUCKING MORON! YOU PUNCHED ME! IT'S LEIA AND ALL THE REST OF YOUR 22 YEAR OLD BEST FRIENDS YOU FREAK!" I had swerved the car, smashing an urn with a tree in it in someone’s front yard. I am so lucky that I put a lift on my hatchback even though the mechanic said it would mess with the car. I only hit the urn and not the curb, and I could keep driving like nothing happened, and that was all thanks to my lift.

Everyone in the backseat was laughing so hard at me, like almost crashing was the funniest thing of their life. Maybe I would be a little more worried if I didn't know that every cop in the city was back arresting Gumdrop. Maybe I would be a little more worried about some strangers stupid plant in their rich house if I wasn't so mad, for what felt like the first time in our whole relationship (me and all of my friends).

I turned the volume on the music all the way down. We were basically back at Tiny's now, like two blocks to go. Bingo said, "Why you silencing me? Let me cook!"

Everyone in the backseat laughed like a bunch of ghouls. I looked at Dave and he had pushed himself as far back away from me as he could and was like bracing himself against the car window and the seat, staring at me looking TERRIFIED like I was the ghoul, NOT the people in the back seat. His mouth was GAPING, like he was just surprised by a jack in the box with a human head popping out of it.

I parked, with my hands on the wheel, looking down, just exhausted. Everyone in the back was whispering and staring at their phones. I looked over at Dave and he was still just doing that thing, like he was so scared; so out of the silence I said: "what are you so terrified about Dave??"

He said: "I just realized that you guys set me up on this playdate so you could steal my damn boots." Everyone in the back seat thought this was so funny and laughed so hard but it just made me feel crazy right now. I just shook my head and started gathering my stuff to get out of the car.

We were all walking towards Tiny's house and Shortcake said: "Damn Leia, you GOTTA bring us more of those cookies next time for sure."

I just couldn't believe it. It was as if none of them were even there an hour ago, when they brought a dozen homeless men in and single handedly destroyed my place of business and my place of dance.

I whipped around and said to them, "What don't you all understand! You were just AT the coffee shop while it was getting destroyed and people were getting SHOT! Luigianna Ninaz Cupz is DONE! Oh my god!"

Jilly said, "Why the fuck are you freaking out on us? Like you were the one being so secretive about your job?"

"Yeah Leia, what the HELL? I bet Luigianna Ninaz Cupz is owned by some corporate fascist anyway. Why do you care if it gets destroyed?" Sun said.

"Honestly, it's like not even that cool of a place to work," said Bingo, "Like, I bet I make WAY more money than you just doing cams online." Wow, didn't know Bingo did cams, that is brave due to them being trans.

They were giving me so much crap for no reason. It was really bothering me. It was making me feel even more like everything was my fault.

It was so loud inside of Tiny's and there were five people that I didn't recognize on the couch smoking weed and drinking some of Tiny's amazing IPAs. I heard two people yelling inside of Tiny's room over some super loud music that was playing in the background. Suddenly the door busted open and I saw Mort with his shirt pulled up and a bunch of scars on his stomach in Tiny's 5000$ computer chair. I also noticed that he was wearing super sick jordan’s sneakers, designed by Michael Jordan. He was screaming, "HOW COULD YOU JUST LET ME GET KIDNAPPED?? They STOLE my KIDNEY!! The doctor said that I was in the most pain out of ANY patient he ever saw!!!!" Wow, I thought, I wonder how they measured that. That is actually pretty badass.

Mort had two giant casts that were propping up his arms like they were two thin shelves. They wrapped around his shoulder like a jet pack harness. When he saw us, he came over to us with his arms up like that, like Frankenshtein (that's how German people pronounce it, and even though they are a type of whites, it is still good to try to pronounce things right). 

Mort said: "Jilly pull up my shirt, you have GOT to see this. The doctor said that I was in the most pain out of any patient he EVER had." He was saying it kind of in like, a bitchy way, that made it hard to believe. It kind of sounded like he was just bragging.

"Look! This doctor I met on craigslist made me part machine!" There was like three weird nearly open wounds with lumpy stuff under it. "He was going to replace my organs with like these new biometrics because of some instagram posts I made while I was on pain meds for these." And he nodded at his arm. "The doctor said I was in the most pain ever, like guiness records levels… like he was about to call them..." Now it was pretty obvious he was just bragging. Like who knows what Mort got injected into his stomach and honestly who cares. He missed EVERYTHING this week!

Tiny's new friends on the couch were looking like they were trying not to laugh. I was just so tired, and I had so much familial type of drama and psychology pain with my main ride or dies right now, and I'm talking about the crew -- Jilly, Pine, Tiny, Shortcake, Dave, Sun, Bingo, Gumdrop, and the rest of them -- that chilling with some new strangers right now might just get my mind right.

I sat down next to them and said "Hi I'm Leia" and that was it. They introduced themselves as Phillip, who was like 6 ft 8, Dharmit, who was an Indian guy, Rob, and Ashley, I think, but the TV was on super loud and I couldn't really hear her.

The TV was on some news channel and they had already started reporting on what happened at Luigianna Ninaz Cupz! New master Don Lemon was on the TV and he was saying over and over "White face is NOT a thing! You can't use that in your argument! They shot and maybe killed an unarmed black man who was simply trying to take out his phone to call his baby brother and tell him that he loved him! The white face angle WILL NOT be tolerated!"

"Oh my god!" I said "They're talking about Gum drops plan! They're talking about her body switch with LaQuan!" Dharmit had leaned over to listen to me talk and almost looked like he was super serious but maybe also trying not to laugh. THAT kind of made me mad but I'll just put him on my watch list. Then he turned back to the TV.

"Wait, is that Luigianna Ninaz Cupz?" Mort asked? Looking around the room, then looking down at his arms. Shortcake, Bingo, Jilly, and Sun were passing around 3 giant joints between the three of them and taking huge drags. They looked at the TV and said "Ohhh shit!" all in unison. 

Jilly said, "Oh my god Leia! You work there!! Their cookies are SOO good!" I didn't even give them the time of day. I just kept watching.

Tiny was staring at the TV with her mouth 10 inches wide and her eyes blinking like a cuckoo clock. "What the heck? Is that LaQuan and Gum drop??" They had video footage of Gum drop in black face leaned over the front of a police car screaming something that was bleeped out over and over, and they were switching back and forth between footage of that and Laquan trying to bust into the library in the fat suit. I'm not trying to be controversial, but he WAS in whiteface, and that is something that we need to have a conversation about (as a half white myself).

I just realized that I am the only one who knew what happened after the shots got fired at the coffee shop. I didn't know how to explain to them, who were sitting in the coffee shop as the homeless people destroyed it, stealing all of the cookies that I lined up PERFECTLY this morning in honor of Estella.

Now Don Lemon was talking about Estella: "Owner and operator of coffee shop and dance studio Estella Jones was also shot and is currently in stable condition at the hospital. No one knows the source of the munitions that penetrated her at this time, but the coffee shop allegedly had more than a dozen unhoused individuals present at the time of the fired shots."

Then they started talking about the new Black little mermaid without any sort of transition, while the banner scrolled over and over at the bottom of the screen: "BLACK DRAG QUEEN IN WHITEFACE SHOT OUTSIDE OF LIBRARY DRAG READING HOUR". Oh my god, that is false news!! LaQuan was NOT even going to read at the reading hour!

"Wow, that is so incredibly insensitive to talk about white face like that's EVEN a thing." Said Phillip, who was sitting next to me and also 6 ft 8.

I looked up at him and shook my head and said "That is so true. Hey, how do you guys know Tiny?"

Phillip said, "oh we work at google. I know it, cringe, but we're trying to Tiny to come over from amazon because she is like so smart and could crush it on our team." Tiny, who was still frozen staring at the TV, gave a smile and a wink to Phillip when he said that, and then went back to looking SO shocked. Um, fake much???? Which is it Tiny!! Do you love Phillip, or are you sad about LaQuan!

"Hey Tiny!" I said, "You must be so sad about LaQuan and Gumdrop!"

Tiny said, "You have NO idea. I always support Gum drop’s art, and she was doing so well. I can't believe that she's been taken like this! But like, didn't LaQuan’s phone case look like exactly like a gun? Didn’t you think it was a gun? Who was saying that?"

Dharmit shook his head and made a knowing face and said, "You Americans always have excuse for this gun violences. Do you know in India we have the most people with Ph. D in the world, and we have no guns and it does not cause any of the racial crimes that you are perpetually facing here? I should not get into it like this I am sorry." And he just suddenly stopped talking.

Bingo said, "Oh my GOD I love the cookies from Luigianna Ninaz Cupz. I would kill for that right now."

Tiny came over and sat next to me. She said, kind of whispering, "Leia, do you know something about what happened on the news? Like... are you okay?"

I was so crushed under the weight of the knowledge of each step of the events leading up to right now that I could barely even respond. Like, thinking about it a little, I kind of handled everything by myself, while Tiny and Pine hid crying in the corner. And that is what makes me a good person.

Tiny said, "It's okay, you don't have to talk about it right now if you don't want to," and she leaned her head on my shoulder.

I don't know why but this was the most shocking thing that happened all day. I realized that I never had even slept with Tiny yet, despite the fact that we had been dating almost a week. Actually it didn't even feel like we were dating. And right now, I needed some actual, substantial support.

I had played hide and seek all day with my feelings, and I couldn't do it anymore. I looked down at Tiny, who picked her head up and looked me dead in the eyes, looking both worried and scared. "Tiny. You can't just click and drag feelings into my heart." She looked like I just stabbed her with a blade, a blade of sorrow. She just put her head back on my shoulder and didn't say anything else.

I over heard Phillip talking to Rob. They were talking about going on a big rock climbing trip this weekend. I started thinking to myself: I LOVE doing different nature sports. Me and the crew spend like all day outside sometimes in the park and in the city. I could rock climb so easily.

Rob was saying, "Yeah, I have to cancel because like, I technically have to be there in person for the triplex that I just bought that I'm going to lease out in addition to the house I already bought last year, but like yeah, I hope you totally send it this weekend and I'm so sad I'm not going to make it."

"Wow, you have 4 houses?" I leaned forward and asked, and Tiny flopped the other way and was just staring absently at the TV.

Phillip looked at me and said, "Say, you want to come on a rock climbing trip this weekend Leia? We'll be going out to central Oregon to this crazy spot. It'll be great."

"Wow, I've never rock climbed, but I'm in between jobs right now, so I have some time. That sounds so chill."

Tiny looked at me and said, "You know that's like a 12 hour drive away, right?"

There is a 1 and a million chance of things coming together this well for people. I was hardcore ready for a break from the gang - and I'm talking Tiny, Mort, Gumdrop, Shortcake, Jilly, Sun, Bingo, and Pine. I am ready to do some thing meaningful for once in my life, even if that meant trusting a new stranger on a drive to a new magical place to risk my life.