22. There was some kind of scary truth in what happened...

Gum drop showed us the truth about society

As LaQuan leaned down to try to help Gum drop up, she pulled really hard on his arm and he almost fell over. They were laughing so hard, but for me, all I could think of is when Mort gaslighted her body and obviously/naturally paid the deep consequence of having his arms ripped off, and I thought for a second it was all going to happen again. This time there would have been a very controversial racial aspect to it too though, because LaQuan was black and Gum drop was white.

So he tried to help her up again, and she got up the time, but she stumbled a few steps and banged back into another part of the wall, putting another big crack in it. That bump was especially scary to me, because I read online that if you get some types of shoulder injuries it is impossible to fix, and that's why I was so worried about Gumdrop. But, when she bumped into the wall that pink gun of hers fell out of her pants again, and when she leaned over to pick it up, she accidentally pulled the trigger. It was because she almost fell over and just like automatically squeezed! BANG, and she it shot right into the 30 thousand dollar espresso machine and steam was going all over the room, like gas filling up a space.

Suddenly my phone started BLOWING UP. Buzz after buzz vibrated the very phone that was in my pocket, each buzz piquing my interest like a delicious smell of my favorite coffee drink (either a pour over or a latte). I know a gun had just went off, but I just had to look because I simply love when people text me, and it could have been really important. When I read the text messages that I had received on my phone, I was terrified.

Mort was sending message after message: "1. I'm back in the hospital. I can't believe you all let me get kidnapped." "2. How could you have let me go get surgury in some guys basement?" Then there was a picture of his abdomen covered with stars. "3. He stole my kidney... the only reason anyone found me was from my tik toks." "4. I watched my tik toks and yeah I am asexual now that part is true" "5. Um Tiny, the hospital is saying I don't have insurance? Like WTF happened? They are kicking me out!"

Imagine learning that your favorite childhood show actually had a racist episode so you couldn't like it anymore and you realize how dark capitalism is even for kids. That was me. I was so sad for Mort, and now it makes sense why he thought that he didn't want to eat food any more: he was blacked out on hospital drugs, instead of good natural ones like weed, which actually make you MORE logical. He would have never made that type of mistake if he just stuck to what he knows.

I looked outside in horror, what I saw made me wish I didn't have eyes. The 5 police had taken their guns out and were crouching super low, and I knew that we activists might be about to go to the most for real war that we have ever done. I didn't even have my bandanas to cover my identity. I saw Estella sprint behind a car and put her hands over her head. It was like seeing the president of the United States cry: some things you are just not meant to see. I heard more sirens in the distance because OBVIOUSLY a damn gun shot would get the cops after us.

I was so scared that what was about to happen could be so much worse than what happened at Taco bell.

Gumdrop and LaQuan looked at each other in panic. This was literally the first time I ever saw Gumdrop even look worried. LaQuan said "Shit these cops have been after me for weeks n shit! I think we gotta do it! That shit you been sayin!"

Gumdrop looked at him like her face was a carving in a Greek gravestone. I understood I think, that because of their love, it was hard that they also had shot a gun in the public place with all the cops there. I’m just trying to piece together why they might be so upset, I know that doesn’t really make sense. That could be so dangerous for them! You have to be a total soulless loser not to sympathize with people like them in this situation.

"You guys should get out of here!! Before they get us surrounded! Oh my god they are gonna get LaQuan the cops have been stalking me about him all week!! Like I'm just remembering but the FBI talked to me about him earlier this week...." I said, so panicked, and also kind of proud of myself for remembering what happened earlier this week like that.

Gum drop said, "Girl, you might not understand this right now, but you BEST get something straight. The only way I can save my man's life is if I become a decoy for him so the cops come after me. The cops will get attracted to me because I'm in black face and LaQuan gonna be in white face." She was out of breath and she hugged LaQuan . "It's why I always got this bag, just in case I gotta step in and save his life." 

In her little bag, she had a little jar of white paint, a little jar of black paint, what looked like a bunch of nylon from like a tent, and two wigs, one like a black person’s hair and one like a white person’s hair that was pink. 

LaQuan looked at her and said "I was hoping we wouldn't gonna had to do dis shit... this shit's embarrassing...."

Gum drop said "LaQuan: I am your rider die. You need to trust me for just this once in your life. I have thought this through a million times. Yo ass needa trust me! Don't embarass me babe!!"

Then I saw it all happening in front of me and I knew that it was going to work.

Gum drop started painting her face with the dark paint and put on the wig that looked like the african american wig and she started painting LaQuan Don Darius's face with the white paint while he started putting on that nylon clothes from her bag. Then I realized it was a fat or overbese suit from a halloween store.

"Gum drop that is so brave! I see now! You are taking his place and letting him get away as you!" I said just as LaQuan was fitting the pink wig over his head.

Laquan said, "Look babe I'm not trying to be rude n shit... but like I'm waaay smaller than you. Nobody gonna believe we switched places just cause you doin black face n shit...."

Gum drop took a deep breath, she was like completely out of breath from getting changed like that so fast, which makes sense. because she doesn't really exercise a lot. "Are you KIDDING ME?" And she shoved LaQuan into the wall. "I AM BODY DYSMORPHIC!"

"Oh shit.... damn I forgot... damn yeah this is gonna work.... yeah babe I forgot that you are totally like my size but like just in your mind of some shit..."

Suddenly the police had cracked the door and were talking through with the bullhorn, some bullshit about how we were disrupting the peace. I could barely hear their dumb ass over the steam and the music from the dance class and every was just being super loud anyway. 

"Gum drop I will drive you out of here! Let's just take my car!! What the heck are you even gonna do, run away???"

"Shut up! You will never understand!" she screamed at me through the face of black paint "I know what you did to my damn pins!" 

"Okay, haha, this sounds so crazy but like please just be careful!" I said, trusting that she actually was an expert activist and also in race relations, from her art and community engagement.

"I NEED EVERYONE TO BLOCK THIS HALLWAY!" screamed Gum drop at the room full of homeless people and my best friends. She was kind of waving her arms around with her gun in her hand, and everything was covered in that black paint which looked super sticky and nasty, then it just went so bad.

Everyone was sort of meandering over to the hallway right in the middle of all of the screaming and the steam coming out of the espresso machine still. It was like the sound if you were on some steam ship in the year 1500 that was full of giant rats.

"Gum drop just put the gun down babe let me hold on to i-" I tried saying to her, holding out her little bag that she took their costumes out of, but I got interrupted by her blasting off another shot which went out and hit Estella right in the shoulder, destroying the big beautiful Luigianna Ninaz Cupz front window with the big cursive 3d letters that said "Luigianna Ninaz Cupz" on its way there. I heard Estella yelling outside and I had no idea how bad it was, but I somehow felt like it was my fault. It was still my shift and I am the one in charge of this place. If I didn't just get fired, I am so sure this never would have happened. Like I understand what it means to be responsible for things, because I have 8 best friends that I support full time. This job is EASY compared to that.

Everyone dropped to the ground super fast as soon as that bullet went off. And the cops, I saw them peeking up through the broken window - the ones that weren't going over and making a big deal out of Estella getting shot. Like now that I could see it, it wasn't a big deal at all. Like I got almost killed by a pitbull less than a week ago, and I am at work just fine today. Grow up Estella.

"Piece of shit!!!" Gumdrop said and threw the gun through the wall that she just crashed through less than five minutes ago. 

Laquan was standing there with the fat suit on, his face covered in white paint, and the straight hair pink wig. He looked like a crazy clown from a nightmare movie, and that is me trying to be nice, and I like him.

Then, her and LaQuan just took off out the back door. LaQuan was like 1000 times faster than her, I saw him crash out of that back door and Gum drop was already so far behind him, and she was holding up the selfie stick. I am super creative and able to interpret things and like understand complicated concepts, but there was no way anyone would believe that he was Gumdrop. He looked so crazy sprinting away that fast with that huge fat suit on. It was like those videos of people doing park core in dinosaur suits, but scary. I honor him for how cooperative he was being with Gumdrop, who was not only body dysmorphic, but also neurodivergent. I saw Gumdrop barely catching her face in the frame of the selfie in the air as she crashed through the back door.

Since everyone had ducked down when the gun went off, the police had a direct view of me, and LaQuan and Gumdrop sprinting out the back. Suddenly the music and steam stopped at once at it was deadly silent. I just heard Estella crying and the police on the radio repeating over and over "Shots fired at Luigianna Ninaz Cups on King and Luther, suspects on foot headed south, set up a scan perimeter now, suspects are two large men, 6 foot plus, one white one black. Suspects may be armed. I repeat..."

"Everyone STAY DOWN!" screamed the police, still tucked behind the brick wall with the window blasted out. 

I looked and saw Tiny and Pine crying in the corner. Like, this was not even their trauma, it was Gum drops? But they are being super nice to me lately so I'm going to go easy on them. I saw Bingo and Jilly laying on the ground laughing hysterically, still pushing each other even though all this shit was going on. I also saw Disco and Shortcake behind the counter eating cookie after cookie. Those were good cookies, but I just didn't know what to think.

So I made a judgement call, and I just let my body take me, and I just left everyone behind, and I went after Gumdrop, because i KNOW what a rider die is, and I'm gonna be one. I sprinted out like I was in a full on protest like FOR REAL, and I saw Gum drop just disappearing out of the parking lot behind a building.

I saw Dave still trying to break in to my car, like for some reason. I shouted at him as I went by: "IT'S NOT YOUR CAR DAVE, AND YOUR BOOTS ARE IN THE FUCKING CAFE!" I NEVER swear and it terrified me what type of monster I could become to say something like that. I actually then realized that if he had dimentia then it might have been an illegal crime for me to yell at him in that way.

I just kept sprinting right by him and went over where Gum drop disappeared. She looked so crazy because her hands were like half covered in that crazy black paint and I could see her pink hair coming right out from under the curly wig. I saw a cop come from no where and try to level her like a football player, but she did a big round house back hand punch and basically knocked his ass out, the whole time still holding the selfie stick with the other hand. You go girl!

"Gum drop!" I screamed.

She responded, "Shut up Leia! I'm LaQuan!! I'm NOT Gumdrop! I'm not Gumdrop!!! I'M SAVING HIS LIFE!" and she kept jogging like faster than I would have thought down the sidewalk. I saw more cop cars now basically lining the street and even a helicopter overhead. I also forgot that she had body dysmorphia so it is believable that she thought she was super rail skinny like LaQuan. "Damn girl I forgot you had body dysmorphia! You do look like LaQuan!" I said, still not quite caught up to her.

Three blocks away, I saw plain as day LaQuan in the fat suit sprinting down the road. He kept trying to hold the pink wig on as he was running and it was flying off. I had to give it to Gumdrop: he kind of did look like her from 3 blocks away, and she was basically wanted by the cops, so yeah, maybe she would get away. Actually I don't really understand why this would save LaQuan. Really what this did was prove that knowing how to do really good drag make up is a useful and good piece of art!!

LaQuan was just coming up on the library and I heard a HELICOPTER was zeroing! Gum drop was like totally out of breath... and I looked at her and I knew she wasn't going to catch up to him. I had to try somehow to get her up to LaQuan so that they could do the body switch and he could get away forever.

"I'm gonna go save him Gum drop, don't worry," I said, sprinting past her and the million cop cars. "DON'T TOUCH MY MAN!!!" Gum drop screamed, doubling over out of breath. I looked back and saw that wig fell off, revealing her pink hair that was covered in the black paint too, by now.

I got across the road from the building LaQuan was busting into: the library. I saw through the window there was some sort of reading circle happening with a bunch of kids. Kids are bad to have because they make global warming happen, but that is besides the point. I saw the fat suit had a big billowing part that was caught in the huge door of the library. LaQuan was tugging it and tugging it out and a lot of police had started lining up behind their cars with bullhorns and their pistols drawn and pointed at him.

One of them saw me running up and they screamed at me, "Get down! This is an active crime seen! She has a gun!" 

I just said the first thing that came to my mind: "That's my friend!! He's a drag queen, he's just going to do a reading hour at the library!! He don't got no gun, he's just chillin and teaching kids that they should be trans because of overpopulation and global warming! Don't you know that if you don't let kids be trans it leads to 40% increase in suicide??"

Well that must have fell totally flat because actually it turned out that LaQuan did have something, a little special item, that would have maybe become his doom on the way into the library.

I saw LaQuan reach for his phone. But what only I knew, and not the police, was that he had a custom pistol grip cell phone case that made his phone look exactly like a pistol, and I knew what was going to happen. I had read the news enough times, and also look at reddit, so I KNOW how racist america is. 

This was the day that me getting a job at a coffee shop lead to the first public police shooting of a trans racial drag queen and my best friend getting their relationship completely ruined. They shouldn't have called the shop Luigianna Ninaz Cupz, they should have more like called it "I Can't do Anything Right's Coffee Shop Featuring Leia Himshe".